- Professor: So your final is next week.
- Me: Yay.
- Professor: You'll still be learning new material until the very last day, and any of it is fair game.
- Me: Double yay.
- Professor: Oh yeah and I'm assigning homework too. Not that you'll know how to do any of it 'til next week.
- Me: Uh
- Professor: Did I mention that the homework will be due the last day of lecture, just like in all of your other classes?
- Me: Um does that mean
- Professor: And don't forget your final will be two days after that.
- Professor: Here's some teaching evaluations I'm peacing out good luck you'll need it haha see you 8 am Saturday morning BYE
- Mom: When I was little, we had a neighbor who would get so angry that he'd sometimes flip the dinner table over.
- Me: Wow.
- Mom: And then we'd all go over to watch.
- Me: ...Wow.
- Dad: It's not like we had any other entertainment back then, you know.
- Me: Fair enough.
It’s 2 AM and I really should sleep
But rattle, rattle, rattle.
That fan is on, like it always is
But now it’s in my room instead of the other.
And as it rattles, I wonder if
It’s something I can ever get used to.
Maybe I’ll just drift off, surrounding myself
In rattle, rattle, rattle.
Nope, I can’t, ‘cause the fan’s got more
There’s a swoosh in the middle somewhere
And it comes and goes whenever it pleases
No more steady rattle, rattle, rattle.
Not that I fall asleep quickly, anyway
My brain’s just busy with way too much
I don’t know if it’s my thoughts that are louder
Or the rattle, rattle, rattle.
But sooner or later, the Sandman visits
It’s nice to finally have a rest.
That rattle, rattle, rattle has faded—
It’s either that fan or me by the end of this semester.
I’m not gonna lie: when I was younger, the idea of being able to open whatever I wasn’t supposed to intrigued me. I mean, come on—who doesn’t want to be a super secret agent/spy/assassin at some point in their lives? And picking locks is a crucial part of any exciting mission.
Of course, the actual art of lockpicking is much more advanced than what can be achieved with something like a paperclip. But the cool thing about house locks is that they aren’t the same as those bank vaults or the huge padlocks hung on the gates of the forbidden mansion. Nope, it’s just one of those mechanisms with the button that you push from the inside to lock the door, and the outside has a small hole in the handle, just right for the end of an unbent paperclip to fit into. The hole wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t meant to be used, right? ‘Cause then all you do is push the paperclip in to un-push the button on the other side and voila: achievement unlocked.
In other words? This is how I break into my own bathroom at 9:30 on a Saturday morning.
Anonymous asked: Any cherished and fun memories from your childhood?
I wouldn’t call it “cherished”, necessarily, but I do remember a time the summer after second grade when we went to visit a popular United States monument deep in the Black Hills of South Dakota. My sister and I were quite excited, as all young children tend to be when they’re outside and not in school, and were running all over the observation deck reserved for taking pictures with the enormous stone faces of four of this nation’s arguably greatest presidents. Of course, our mother was being a boring old parent and telling us to slow down and walk like normal people.
To this, I boldly replied, “But Mom, it’s Mount Rushmore!”
Ba dum tsss.
Yeah, so moral of the story: I had a brilliant taste in puns even at a young age.
That’s right. Simply brilliant.
- Sister: Lolz I need to paperclip this assignment sheet
- Sister: But I have no paper clips
- Sister: Except this random one I found in my physics textbook today
- Sister: So I will use that
- Sister: Oh right also I'm going to probs do my author project on Jane Austen
- Sister: Because I'm a winner like that
- Sister: YAY FOR READING CHEESY OLD ROMANCE
- Me: I have my airplane paper clips on my desk
- Me: YAY JANE AUSTEN
- Sister: IN WHICH ALL THE GUYS ARE RICH HANDSOME DOUCHES AND THE WOMEN CLAIM THEY'RE STRONG AND INDEPENDENT AND DON'T NEED NO MAN but then they do
- Sister: Oh for realzies?
- Sister: I'll go steal one brb
- Me: hahahahahhaha please do
- Sister: Hey if you get back I re-wrote my essay. But now it's like 180 more words and I think it's worse T.T
- Me : HELLO I AM HERE
- Sister: Kay wonderful I couldn't fall asleep. Like I tried for 1 and a half hourse
- Sister: *hours
- Sister: And then I was jut like
- Sister: *just like
- Sister: Nope I'll just re-type my essay
- Me: you know Skype has a handy edit feature. you just press the up arrow and you can edit your last message
- Sister: Oh. Okay RIGHT
- Me: [edited] ^_^b
- Sister: I remember now. Whatever
- Me: [edited] xD
- Sister : ... Okay XD Anyway
- Me: I didn't do that on purpose I swear
- Sister: Do you want the thing
- Me: sure I'll have the thing
- Sister: Kay how do I send the thing?
- Sister: [sending E1D2.docx]
- Sister: JK found it
- Me: congrats you win
Anonymous asked: How's not-summer-vacation life?
To be honest, pretty exhausting. As I have vented to quite a few people already. But here’s the story in its more-or-less entire, edited, full 1 AM glory:
The organic chemistry lab I’m taking this semester is a bit more flexible than normal in the sense that there are 30 or so open hours of lab a week and you just go in whenever you have the chance. But being the overachievers that we are, this translates to whenever you have the chance, as in every single waking moment you don’t have class or some sort of pressing emergency (e.g. you dropped a watermelon on your dishwasher, therefore breaking both things and having neither fruit nor clean dishes to show for it).
Basically, my brain has gone into mega-energy-saver mode. So when I’m actually in lab and doing my reaction I can pull enough focus to not mess up
too many times, but as soon as I have to do something not reaction-related, I’m just like, flatline brainwave. For example, I’ll walk across the room and stand there silently and stare into space until I remember what it was I wanted to get (“I was at my lab bench…setting up column chromatography…OH RIGHT ETHYL ACETATE”). And as soon as I step out of lab,
- The fact that I walked in with the sun still shining and now it’s pitch black certainly puts a damper on things
- The realization that I do actually have other obligations besides organic chemistry takes a bit of the spring out of my step, not that I do anything besides shuffle my way across the laboratory in a half-daze anyway
- I do not want to do said other obligations
- Commence “durrrrrrr…” mindset for the rest of the night.
All this being said, I am learning a lot, I would like to think, and it’s a pretty cool feeling when I can wear a lab coat and do science-y things for most of my day.
Just don’t get me started on the having the wear long pants and sneakers thing when it was
32 Celsius 90 degrees Fahrenheit two weeks ago. Because no. Just no.
I know what you’re thinking: there’s just no possible way I can talk myself out of this one. Not even the most optimistic of optimists has a good thing to say about, well, a good thing coming to an end. But I’m going to attempt the impossible, so buckle down and let’s go for a ride.
1. It’s State Fair time. The great Minnesota get-together is just around the corner, filled with delicious cookies, questionable snacks on a stick, and alligator meat that probably tastes like chicken. Plus, lots of free stuff. If that doesn’t make you smile, I don’t know what will.
2. Back to school (shopping). As much as school fills me with dread, I do have to admit that one of the few pleasures of life I wish I could always partake in is buying new schools supplies at the end of every August. There’s just something about having new notebooks and pencils that makes me think that I can’t be the only one who enjoys this…oh, I am? Well, this got awkward. Moving on.
3. Appreciate your weekends more. With summer comes the state of mind where the days start to blend together and you’re surprised it’s Thursday when it seemed that yesterday was only Monday. You don’t realize what you had ‘til you’ve lost it, so maybe sometimes, just sometimes, struggling a little on the weekdays makes Saturday look that much better.
4. Get to meet up with friends again (and possibly make new ones). Summer is never enough time to hang out with everyone you want to, what with vacations and different locations and such, but everyone has to go to school
(in theory). And there’s nothing like bonding over the latest exam stress or that teacher no one seems to like (or maybe the teacher that everyone has a soft spot for), so go on out and join the educated rat race, as it were. And who knows? You might even meet some cool people you hadn’t known before.
5. Don’t have to mow the lawn! Who cares about grass that’s gonna frost and die in a few weeks anyway? Certainly not me. And who actually wants more work? Yeah, I didn’t think so. The grass looks better when it’s wild and free, anyway.
6. No mosquitos! Because it isn’t summer without bites peppering my legs and the threat of more on the way every time I stand still for more than two seconds. When you live in a state with more than 10,000 lakes, there is nothing more satisfying than imagining the screams of those bloodsuckers on their last breaths, right before hell just about freezes over and brings Minnesota along for the ride.
7. Nice colors. Summer is full of green and that’s the color of puke and rancid water and vegetables, so it’s nice when the trees start turning the reds and oranges and yellows associated with
our favorite fast food restaurants the pure, intense beauty of Mother Nature at her best.
8. Better weather. It’s common knowledge that Minnesota’s four seasons are “almost winter”, “winter”, “still winter”, and “construction”. And logically, “almost winter” is the shortest period because it’s the best. The few weeks when we have a legitimate fall season are when we can truly enjoy the “crisp autumn air” and the perfect temperature that grace us with their presences before the first blizzard hits us like a sledgehammer (although with global warming running around doing its thing, who knows when we’ll see snowflakes nowadays).
9. The holiday season! Halloween, Thanksgiving, (C)Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Christmas, Yom Kippur, even Columbus Day: whatever you celebrate, you can’t deny that the holidays can’t come in until the summer rolls on out. And holidays equal food, so you know. Shoo, summer. The ice cream can wait.
10. Recharge for the next round. As jam-packed with amazingness as this summer was, I’m sure there just wasn’t enough time to get through everything on that infinite to-do list, which is why summer comes around every year. A fresh start arrives with next June, and you’ll be all the wiser about how to make the most out of everyone’s favorite season.